Life doesn’t give many second chances to players but the case of Brendan Taylor was exceptional.
Taylor returned to Zimbabwe’s XI with a new lease on life after serving a three-and-a-half-year ban for violating the ICC’s anti-corruption code. In May, Taylor talked to ESPNcricinfo about his battles with alcohol and drug addiction, his sentence, and his future aspirations.
Returning to international cricket, Taylor described this feeling as “debut-like-feeling” ahead of the second Test against New Zealand.
“How good is it that three years ago, I couldn’t get out of bed and now I am here doing what I love, and that’s representing Zimbabwe?” Taylor told the broadcaster in an emotional interview before the first day’s play. “Dealing with the sanction, dealing with my own internal chaos – there was not a specific day, there were multiple days of trauma.
“I was in the dark depths in the abyss and trying to just get through this total and incomprehensible demoralisation of life. It was incredibly difficult.”
When Taylor unexpectedly left international cricket in Belfast in 2021, he disclosed seven months later that he had been approached by fixers who threatened to expose his cocaine use unless he followed their instructions. In early 2022, he refused to do that, retired, and then checked himself into a recovery facility after his ban was revealed.
Due to the terms of his penalty, Taylor was unable to participate in any official cricketing structures. He then established a coaching facility in his house with the intention of transitioning into coaching upon his return.
However, Taylor was persuaded to resume playing by Zimbabwe’s Cricket MD Givemore Makoni with the 2027 World Cup in mind, and he is prepared to give it his best following years of introspection.
“There’s always that shame and guilt of letting down your family. That’s a tough thing to deal with. But the way my family rallied and supported me was overwhelming. It’s almost a regret why I didn’t lean on them earlier.”
At first, Taylor’s wife, Kelly-Anne, did not trust him when he left their home to go to treatment after learning about his drug issue from the rest of the world.
“I felt it was something I got myself into and I needed to fix it myself. I thought the dream had gone and I was content with it,” Taylor said.
His time at rehab changed his life and Taylor was thankful to his friends and family who supported him throughout.
“Then came the joys and promises of recovery, something that is very dear to me,” he said. “Getting my life back on track is the reason why I am able to be here. If I had not made that life changing decision, none of this would have been possible.
“There have been some very important people in my corner, showing me a new way to live and I am eternally grateful for that. There are a few people in Zimbabwe Cricket that I have to thank, especially the chairman and the MD, who have been absolutely pivotal in their support to having me back.”
The moment of being handed his 36th Test cap, “meant the world to me. It was a moment of pure gratitude and real emotion to be welcomed back with open arms,” Taylor said.
“It was not the reaction I was expecting. But it’s certainly a moment of reflection and real gratitude. It’s so rewarding to see the amount of cricket Zimbabwe Cricket is putting out there. I have trained harder than I have ever trained in my life to get back there. If performances happen, that’s great but there’s a much bigger picture here for me to play. It’s an honour to play again. It’s a debut-like feeling.”
Taylor was promoted at the top of the order, although he won’t be keeping wicket in this Test, Taylor stated that he feels in better form than ever, “living good, clean and healthy,” and about 20 kg lighter than he was during the majority of his international career.
